Leather
by 2Padfoot00Moony7
Summary: Sirius Black. In the tightest possible leather trousers. What ever's a werewolf to do? Hinted RLSB. Mad and utterly pointless...


**Leather.**

Fifteen year old Remus was quite happily sat reading a book on his bed, like a normal person would. When it happened. When his life changed forever.

When Sirius Black discovered leather.

Not just plain, normal leather jackets. Oh no, these were extremely tight, -pour-yourself-into-them- leather trousers.

Remus licked his lips slightly, his heart beat accelerated. "Sirius?"

"Hmm?"

"Why- why are you wearing those?" Remus was trying to avert his eyes from the way they were practically moulded to Sirius' skin, but his they were refusing to co-operate.

Sirius did a 360-degree turn, smirking, "Nice aren't they?" Remus nodded distractedly, "I bought a pair over the summer."

That was when Remus noticed the eyeliner. "Padfoot, are you wearing _makeup?" _He giggled slightly; Sirius Black was a _bad boy. _He didn't wear _makeup. _

But Sirius nodded, not even blushing, "Looks good doesn't it? I think it brings out my eyes."

A sudden thought arose to Remus then, "… Are you turning gay by any chance?"

Sirius winked flirtatiously at him, "You asking like?"

Remus blushed, but ignored him, "Well are you?"

Sirius eased himself into a sitting position, wincing at the ominous creaking sound, "I am what I am. I do who ever catches my eye, gender be damned!"

Remus smiled slightly, his eyes still trained on Sirius' legs, "They look… good."

Sirius flicked his hair, "I know, I look simply scrumptious don't I?" Remus nodded his head absentmindedly, his mind racing with all the different ways he could get Sirius out of them. Sirius pushed himself back off the bed, "Right, well I'm off to give James a heart attack." Chuckling, Remus followed him out of the room.

Reaching the common room, Sirius was immediately flocked by many admiring girls. And the fair few boys. Holding up his hand, Sirius gave his patented bark like laugh, "Ladies, ladies. Please. I'm sorry to have to inform you all… I am taken!" He cried dramatically, laughing some more when their faces fell.

Remus barely looked up at the words; his eyes roaming up and down the trouser legs as his hormonal mind created a very good image of what was _under _those pants.

"Who?" The crowd cried and Sirius' smirk faltered slightly.

"I bet it's that Lupin kid," a voice called from by the fire. A voice that sounded suspiciously like James'.

Immediately, all eyes were pegged on Remus. Who, still entranced by those shiny trousers, wasn't even aware his name had been said.

Sirius' face lit up, and moving as quickly as he could in his new trousers, grabbed Remus' arm and pulled him over to the fire place. He promptly hit James on the head, before proudly turning around as James' mouth fell open.

"…What the _fuck _are you wearing?" James finally asked, his voice a harsh whisper.

"Only the finest leather my dear," Sirius smirked, "Amazing or what?"

"How the bloody hell did you put them on? Or more importantly, will you ever get them off again?"

Sirius grinned wolfishly, his eyes darting to Remus, "I think I'll have some help in that department," he said smugly.

James' eyebrows rose, "Him?"

Sirius smirked, "I wouldn't want anyone else."

"Moony?" James prodded Remus with a toe.

"…Huh?"

"Stop drooling mate; it's not very attractive."

Remus straightened up in his chair, dragging his eyes off Sirius' backside for a moment and smiling sheepishly at James, "I've just never seen anything like it before."

"I'm sure you haven't," James muttered as Sirius sort off fell into an empty chair, the firelight bouncing off the leather.

Remus, once again lost to the dream world, was thinking about getting chocolate involved with Sirius and his pants.

"What on earth possessed you to buy _them?" _James pointed at the pants as though they'd some how offended him.

"Doubting your sexuality Jamie?" Sirius teased, pretending to flutter his eyelashes.

James rolled his eyes, "It will take more than a leather-clad Sirius to sway me from Lily."

Sirius shook his head, "Shame. I thought you might like a threesome with Remus and I."

James' eyebrows shot into his hair, "The fact Remus is looking at you as though he'd very much like to eat you makes that statement sound scarily true."

Sirius said nothing, just stood up and waved a hand in front of Remus' glazed face. Remus jumped slightly, his eyes instantly snapping back down to the trousers and Sirius felt himself blushing, practically feeling Remus' eyes on naked flesh.

"Can you bend over in them?" James asked suddenly, head cocked to a side as he watched Sirius contemplatively.

"… Sure you don't want that threesome? Certainly sounds like you're thinking about it."

James snorted, "I'm _not _being pervy. They just look like they'd rip in two if you tried."

Sirius shrugged thoughtfully, "Let's test that hypothesis."

Very, _very _slowly he started to bend over, slightly aware that Remus was trying to edge round to getter a better view of his behind. His fingers brushed the rug and no ripping sound met his ears, but pain became apparent as the leather dug into places he'd really rather it didn't.

Wincing, he turned back to James, "So no, they don't rip but they do hurt like hell. Remind me to never do that again."

Remus cleared his throat, still looking at that oh-so-tight leather… "Sirius? What's with the new look anyway?"

"Well… I saw this somewhere and I thought it looked hot," he shrugged, his soft-looking lips spreading into a smile again, "Plus I quite like somebody and I thought they might appreciate this look."

"…And do they?" Remus asked, his hands flexing as though he was dying to pull down that zip…

James sniggered and Sirius elbowed him, "I've got a feeling they do." He started fidgeting and whimpered slightly, "They're absolutely boiling though!"

"Well take them off then," Remus rolled his eyes. His lust for the pants had died down enough for him to think logically. Or what he thought was logically at least.

"Sure." Sirius then attempted to pull them down, seemingly ignoring the fact he was actually in the middle of the Common Room. The trousers however, and Remus could understand why, were perfectly happy clinging to Sirius and refused to budge. "… shit."

James covered a smirk with his hand, "Unlucky." Now looking slightly panicked, Sirius tugged more urgently. "Just use magic," James supplied, waving a hand airily.

Sirius sighed, "I can't. I put a spell on them to stop them being removed by magical means."

"What!?" James yelped, "Why?"

"Because I had a feeling that _certain _people might try to do that to me." Pointed glare at James. "Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit. Moony! Help!"

Remus' expression cleared as it sank in that Sirius was asking _him _to take off Sirius' very tight, and very, _very _alluring pants. "W-w-well," Remus spluttered eloquently.

"Please?"

**.x0x.**

They had managed to make it back up to the dorm, pushing through the swarm of adoring fans and Sirius was laid on Remus' bed, zip and button undone but the pants unyielding. "Pull them Moony!"

Standing at the bottom of the bed and getting a firm grip around the bottom of them, Remus heaved.

And ended up pulling Sirius off the bed and on top of him with a yelp. Sirius got back up instantly, hopping around the room as he tried again, unsuccessfully, to pull them off himself whilst Remus grumbled to nobody in particular.

Sirius laid back down, holding onto the headboard as Remus pulled again. The headboard creaked and groaned in complaint and Remus hurriedly let go before it snapped in two.

Next, Sirius gripped the board tightly as Remus climbed practically on top of him and tried pulling them down from the hips.

But quickly stopped that when his hand slipped a little _too _low.

After that, they tried Sirius standing up and Remus on his knees in front, yanking the trousers down from the waist. Remus was in the middle of silently cursing his hormones when Peter walked in, lazily throwing a book on his bed.

He froze mid-step, "…Do I even want to know?"

Remus and Sirius shook their heads in unison.

Peter rose a couple of eyebrows but knew better than to ask and quickly left them to it.

"Well I'm sorry Sirius; you're stuck in them," Remus announced an hour later as they flopped down onto a bed, both exhausted.

Sirius sniffed, "I'll get them off somehow. There's got to be a way!"

"I would suggest ripping them but-" he quickly cut himself off; the idea of ripping them felt like sacrilege.

"But what?"

"They seem too nice to rip," Remus patted Sirius' thigh companionably, feeling a slight reluctance to move his hand.

Sirius turned round so he was on his stomach and grinned at Remus, "You get these off me and I'll show something that is much better than these pants."

Remus' belly lurched as he smiled back clumsily, suddenly very eager to help again, "Well… lets not give up."

They tried hot water.

They tried butter.

They tried cream.

They even tried yoghurt.

And nothing worked.

"We're going to have to give up," Remus moaned, digging his hands into his armpits to fight the urge to spank Sirius. He didn't think Sirius would appreciate it somehow.

"Oh no no no no! The great, fantastical, brilliant, fabulous, delicious Mr Black, simply _does not _give up! Let's try one more thing Moony, just one more!" he paused, looking slightly abashed. "Plus I'm dying for the loo," he added, frowning. Remus rolled his eyes and reached for his wand, pointing it at Sirius. "What are you doing…?" The animagus asked a little nervously.

Remus didn't reply, but picked up his pyjamas and told Sirius to turn round. Once making sure Sirius had done as he was told, Remus stripped himself with one flick of the wand and put his pyjamas on with another.

Turing back to face the animagus, he opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it again. "Er- Sirius?"

"Yes my little Moony?"

"Why… why are you naked?"

"I don't think I put a spell on them after all," he said, his gaze never leaving Remus'.

Remus let his eyes trawl slowly over Sirius' body, "And is this my prize?"

"Most certainly."

* * *

Just plain, meaningless nothingness really.

Got back from Ireland a week ago and have being meaning to update WPA, but haven't got round to it... (Btw, how the hell do Irish people survive!? The bookshops aren't all that good and (when Breaking Dawn came out) it was Bank Holiday Monday so Waterstones at Cork wasn't open till 12.30. I was _not _happy at having to wait. xD)

Anyway, off on holiday again so WPA is going to have to wait. This time however, I'm taking my laptop and I have loads to write. (Including Pressure... Sigh.)

Will write something better soon...

Review xD


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